I feel like there should be more movies about men in traditionally feminine feilds. We have tons of movies about women in masculine fields and trying to fight the patriarchy in a “man’s world”, and that’s great, I love it.

But that being said I want a feel good comedy about a male nurse in a hospital that’s especially popular in the pediatric ward because he’s great with kids and infants, but also has to deal with people cracking jokes and asking if he was a nurse because he didn’t/couldn’t cut it as a REAL doctor.

I want an under dog about a young kid from a small town going to beauty school and becoming one of the top stylists/makeup artists in the game, but feel pressured by his parents to be more manly.

I want a musical about a ballet instructor that teaches his students it’s okay to be nervous on stage and how to work through it, but is constantly assumed to be gay.

A romcom about a florist/environmentalist and his love interest in Pasadina, California during the Tournament of Roses.

Normalize guys in jobs that aren’t traditionally masculine to show that it doesn’t make them gay or a wimp just because you like flowers or dancing or makeup.

Why National Personifications are portrayed as women.

So I have presented myself with a quandary and I propose it to you.

The past has not been kind to women. We all know this.

Women stereotypically represented domestication, motherhood, purity or sin (it depends on the context), and socially been have been labeled “the weaker sex”. Women couldn’t vote because they weren’t thought to be mentally or emotionally capable. They were to avoid too much physical stress because they were decided to be weaker and prone to things like “hysteria” or the infamous “wandering womb”.

Historically if a woman was too smart, too outspoken, or too assertive then there was something wrong with her. It was unnatural for a woman to possess “masculine” qualities.

So with this all out in the open, let me get to the point of all of this.

National Personification and the use of young, beautiful women as symbols of power, liberty, strength, and national pride.

You may or may not know this, but most of the national personifications are, in fact, female.

Germania (Germany)

Britannia (Great Britain)

Mother Russia

Marianne (France)

Italia Turrita (Italy)

Columbia (United States)

Plus many many more.

Now lets look at what these representations have in common.

  • They’re all women, obviously
  • They all wear loose fitting dresses that drape over them.
  • Most of them have their hair down, or untidy if in action.
  • They all seem to have something of a robust frame; wide shoulders, thick arms, forward foreheads, and strong jaw longs on oval faces and thick necks.
  • They are all battle ready, either armed or just looking ready to fight someone.
  • They all seem to be in their late teens and upwards.
  • Most importantly they tend to make appearances during times of tribulation or war.

So what does it mean?

Why, in patriarchal countries where women are/were supposed to stay at home, let men lead, and not display masculine traits, would the nation be represented by these young, heavy built, non-sexualized woman?

My theory?

They are the representations of mothers. They are protective and angry, are the symbolic mothers of the country rallying their children to defend them while they defend her.

They are portrayed with strong features because they portraying one of the few historically venerated strong female roles, which is a mother and more specifically a mother protecting her children.

They wear long draping dresses and are not portrayed in a sexualized way because they were not supposed to be the girl back home you’re fighting for because she’s cute. They don’t represent that because not all men are willing to die for that girl.

If Columbia or Mother Russia was represented by a curvaceous young ingenue with a come hither gaze, she would not have the same effect as they do now. She would not invoke the same feelings of gratitude or devotion.

Just about everyone would be willing to die for their mother, because they know their mother would be willing to die and sacrifice everything for them.

Mothers are a combination of traditionally feminine and masculine traits. They are compassionate, selfless, and kind as well as aggressive, angry, and loud.

National personifications are mothers because the role of the mother in a patriarchal society justifies a woman not being sexy, being loud and angry, and being in a leadership position, while still being able to stir men to action.

A “The Shining” Movie Theory

Get ready guys, because this is a big one.

Everyone knows about The Shining.

The iconic 1980 horror classic directed by Stanley Kubrick about a deranged writer and his family stuck in an evil, isolated hotel in the mountains.

The film has been a favorite of horror lovers for ages, even if writer, Stephen King, despised the cinematic adaptation of his thriller novel.

But, this theory does not involve the novel at all, and focuses solely on 1980 The Shining film as its own separate entity. I will not be using the novel to prove or disprove this theory, so with that established, here we go.

What if the Overlook Hotel is specifically targeting people who possess the “Shining” ability, and Jack Torrance himself unknowingly actually has the ability himself, along with every other person the hotel has caused to kill?

Let’s dive right into this madness, shall we?

First off, let’s look at the characters we already KNOW have the “Shining”, Danny Torrance and Dick Halloran.

Before the family even arrives at the Overlook Hotel, Danny and by extension “Tony” already don’t like the idea of going to the Hotel, despite not having a clear reasoning.

When Danny asks “Tony” why he doesn’t like the Hotel, Tony initially refuses to tell him until Danny is sent into a vision of horror.

Let’s address Tony for a second here. According to Danny, Tony is a “little boy that lives in [Danny’s] mouth” and hides in his stomach. And when Danny is talking to Tony, he moves his finger up and down as if Tony is talking through it. Somehow, Tony seems to know things that Danny does not, and Danny must ask Tony questions when it comes to using his Shining, as if Tony is a sort of gate way Danny must pass through to use it.

Tony also apparently tells Danny to do things, but Danny is not allowed to talk about it or tell anyone what Tony says.

When asked by the Doctor after his initial vision “Does Tony ever tell you to do things?” Danny pauses and says “I don’t want to talk about Tony anymore.”

Later when Dick Halloran presses Danny about Tony, and asks why he’s not supposed to tell anyone, Danny doesn’t answer the question and instead asks Dick if he’s scared of the Overlook Hotel. Dick says he is not, however he does say that “some places are like people, some shine and some don’t” and he believes that the Overlook Hotel is a place that shines.

Speaking of Dick Halloran, the oldest person we are aware of that has the Shining and uses it at will. He states that he and his grandmother would mentally communicate with each other at will since he was a child, until she, presumably, died. Dick is also shown to be able to mentally communicate with Danny over great distances, and possibly even read Wendy’s thoughts when it came to Danny’s nickname “Doc”.

However, Dick seems confused when Danny mentions Tony, then seems concerned when Danny says that Tony talks to him. If this “imaginary friend” was usual with people with “Shining”, then why would Dick seem so confused by it? But let’s get into that in a minute.

Now let’s jump to Jack. Good old, mentally unstable Jack.

Jack has been noted saying that he has “never been more happy or comfortable in his life” when staying at the hotel, it was as if he had “been here before” and “knew what would be around every corner”.

Now why would an average man like Jack Torrance feel so violently pulled towards the Overlook Hotel so quickly? Unless he wasn’t an average man, unless he actually had seen the hotel before, at least mentally.

Perhaps in visions?

Visions much like Danny has in which he sees blood flooding from the Overlook elevators.

Blood from elevators? That doesn’t sound like a vision that would draw Jack to the Hotel.

Well that’s the vision Tony shows Danny, because Tony does not like the Overlook hotel because he thinks it’s “bad”.

But if the Hotel is searching for someone with the shining, maybe it would be able to send them visions of a place to subconsciously draw them to the Hotel.

Jack Torrance, a writer, a recovering alcoholic, looking for an isolated place to write alone.

The Overlook Hotel, isolated, empty, and prone to snow storms that knocks out the telephone lines.

How perfect.

Too perfect?

After all, doesn’t Mr. Grady say, “You have always been the care taker. I should know, sir, I’ve always been here”.

But no matter how convenient it may seem, it does not answer the question. Does Jack Torrance have the Shining, and did the previous groundskeeper, Mr. Grady, have it as well?

Well, let’s look at the shining itself through the lens of genetics.

We know that at least two people in Mr. Halloran’s family have The Shining, Dick Halloran, and his unnamed grandmother with whom he could “hold full conversations without ever opening…” their mouths. There is a blood link right there.

Now looking at Delbert Grady, I believe that without a doubt both he and his dead daughters possessed the shining. The daughters, because Grady states that his girls “didn’t like the hotel” and that they went so far as to try and burn the place down with a pack of matches, which led Mr. Grady to kill them and their mother with an axe.

Why didn’t they like the hotel? Because their father was acting weird? Or because something told them the hotel was bad? An imaginary friend perhaps?

Delbert Grady’s shining is hinted at in passing, but I was blown away when I rewatched the scene between him and Jack in the men’s washroom. Grady tells Jack that Danny had been interfering with their “plans” by being in contact with Halloran via their shared link with the Shining.

Now, how would he know that, unless he was able to do the exact same thing? Without some knowledge of the abilities that come with The Shining.

He wouldn’t.

Now we have a grandmother to grandson connection, a father to daughters connection, where would Danny get his Shining from?

Wendy? Who never experienced any side effects of the Overlook’s evil.

Or Jack? Who, was practically driven mad by it.

But wait! I hear you cry!

How could Jack go his whole life without knowing he had the Shining?

Simple.

What if I told you The Shining wasn’t so uncommon afterall.

Remember the conversation Wendy had with the doctor after Danny’s fit?

“These sorts of episodes occur quite often in children without explanation, and rarely ever occur again. It’s almost like a sort of auto hypnosis, a sort of self-induced trance.”

Holy. Hell.

For those of you unfamiliar with auto hypnosis, it’s really very common. In fact you’ve probably done it yourself more than once.

Have you ever been doing repetitive motions over and over until your mind goes sort of blank, like stacking something, or counting, or playing a familiar video game? And when you snap out of it, you may have found you’ve gotten more work done than you actually realized?

That is a sort of self-induced trance brought on by repetition.

What was Danny doing when he fell into his first vision?

First he said he was brushing his teeth, a repetitive task if there ever was one. Then, he was moving his finger up and down as if Tony was talking, watching the finger as he did so. And when he saw the girls? He was riding his trike, pumping his legs over and over again, watching the same walls and carpets go by that he had been seeing for weeks.

And Jack? That one is the most obvious.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Pages and Pages, until he’s completely immersed. Immersed enough to communicate with a dead groundskeeper, a phantom bartender, and enough for the Hotel to finally be able to control him.

But that may not be the only way someone can trigger their powers. Does anyone remember Jack and the family sleeping very late into the day during the beginning of their stay? And remember how Jack was able to hear Mr. Grady on the other side of the door when he got knocked out by Wendy and woke up in the locked food closet?

And when after being attacked by the woman in room 237, Danny goes to sleep and has visions of horror before waking up as Tony?

And what happens when Tony takes over?

He writes the notorious REDRUM on the door and stands over his mother with a knife until Wendy wakes up to his chanting and takes the knife away from him. From then on, it appears Danny has regained control.

It would make sense for the Overlook to want Danny to, after all even Mr. Grady notes how strong Danny’s power is.

But how was Wendy able to see the ghosts and skeletons and weird ass dog suit dude if she does not possess the Shining?

The answer to that ties in to why the Hotel is doing this in the first place.

The Overlook Hotel, a place that Shines, is luring in people who possess the shining to get stronger.

Like Dick said “when something bad happens, it tends to leave its mark on a place”

And the Overlook Hotel certainly has a bloody past, from Indian raids during construction, to grizzly murder-suicides.

The Hotel is killing people who possess the shining to absorb their power and become stronger.

Wendy starts to see the ghosts of the hotel after Jack kills Dick Halloran, a man who has seemingly mastered and strengthened his shining ability.

A man who was able to be in the hotel for most of the year, and still wasn’t overtaken.

Perhaps Halloran’s Shine was so strong that when the hotel absorbed it, even someone without the shining, like Wendy, would see strange things.

And that brings this theory to an end. Crazy, right?

Now is this theory 100% true? I seriously doubt it. There are probably things I’m forgetting that disprove this all, but damn it was fun to dig into this movie and type this up.

And plus, this film is directed by Stanley-freaking-Kubrick. A man so notoriously detail oriented and neurotic that he tightropes the line between cinematic genius and certified madman.

Even if this isn’t what he had in mind, I wouldn’t be at all surprise if he planted something in the film that turns everything upside down.

Any ideas of your own? Throw them out there, and have fun with it!

Thanks for reading, and stay cool guys!

The Cosmic River

I think we can agree that, in general, no two takes on spirituality or the eternal questions of how and why are the same. So here is just my view on it.

I believe in a cosmic source of energy that has been in existence for who knows how long. I like to believe that it’s always been there in some way or another. Since matter and energy can not be created or destroyed, our beings, our life energy, our very existence, is the result of recycling energy and matter. In a spiritual sense this would mean that humans, animals, plants, stones, even forces of nature such as waterfalls and thunderstorms, are all connected through this mutual cosmic energy. This is why we get senses and emotions from places or things that we can not explain, commonly known as “vibes” or what have you. It is why we feel connections with people or places we don’t even know, and why some people say they “get a weird feeling” off someone or something. I believe that once we are aware of this constant flow of energy through every being, living and nonliving, we can tap into it, of channel it. Meditation, self induced trances, moments when you step into an area and you feel as though there is a jet of energy shooting though the soles of your feet from the ground, or its surrounding your heart and making your chest feel full. Some people are more connect to it then others, either they are born that way or they have found a way to channel the flow.

Miracles, or somethings that inspires faith, occur because there is faith. Enough energy is channeled for force something into existence.

Even ghosts, they are the remnants of life energy that can not or will not be returned back to the cosmos, so they stay where they were, more or less. The same with residual hauntings, which is a haunting where the same thing happens over and over either regularly or at random, only it is not the life energy, but the impact that has been made on localized energy of an area by an event or an emotion. An invisible stamp.

Animals that can sense when a storm is coming, or service dogs that can sense that their owners need them.

These things are all connected to this eternal cosmic river of energy that fuels our world.

Growing Up with ADD or ADHD

ADD/ADHD: Noun.

“Disorder that begins in childhood, but can continue through adolescence and adulthood. Symptoms include difficulty staying focused and paying attention, difficulty controlling behavior, and hyperactivity (over-activity).”

  • U.S National Library of Medicine

So…I know there is a percentage of people out there who think ADD and ADHD is just a made up diagnosis given to sell medication to parents with rambunctious kids and college students who can’t focus.

But I’m here to shed a little light on the subject of dealing with Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. Keep in mind this is from my own person experience and conversations I have had with others who have also been diagnosed.

Growing up with ADD or ADHD is complicated.

Contrary to popular belief, there is more to ADD and ADHD than being unable to focus and constantly moving, those just happen to be the most noticeable symptoms displayed in childhood when it is usually diagnoses.

Moreover, ADD and ADHD often goes undiagnosed in women, because girls do not always display the same symptoms as boys. Instead girls are more likely to be diagnosed with Anxiety or Depression.

  • As a kid, it’s frustrating because you don’t really understand what’s going on. All you know is that you can’t focus and you keep getting into trouble for things you don’t feel like you are capable of controlling. You don’t know why you take some things so personally, nor why you can’t see to focus on something to the point that you forget completely about it. You may be labeled “special” or a “problem child” because you’re slow to pick up on certain concepts and have a hard time control your emotions and explaining why you are upset.

If you get lucky, you may find a teacher or parent or councilor whom you feel comfortable with and patiently tries to understand.

If you’re not, you may fall behind in school or develop a resentment or hatred of classrooms, homework, and authority.

 

  • My childhood was a series of picking up obsessions to hyper-focus on for months on end, and then dropping them. Fashions, crafts, tv shows, movies, anything can become the next big thing to swallow up my imagination. I may keep a few around for years on end, but others I can drop as soon as I picked them up.
  • My memory is so bad, I don’t remember major events of my childhood, but I remember obscure details for no reason at all. I can’t remember if I took my pills, or where I could have possibly put my keys, Nor can I seem to remember any sort of numbers; but I can quote movie scenes line for line with exactly tone and facial expressions, even if I’ve only seen in once or twice.
  • If I have an idea, I need to write it down, and write it down fast before I lose it. But I cannot explain it to another person, because my train of thought is so convoluted that my reasoning will make no sense to anyone else. What sounds like an amazing realization to me sounds like madness to someone else because I can’t verbalize exactly how I reached that conclusion.
  • I get overwhelmed very easily. So easily, to anyone else it looks like I’m over sensitive. Loud noises, too much talking, too many thoughts, having to process someone talking too fast, or even in my case, numbers. Being overwhelmed makes me frustrated, confused, and exhausted, and I have to take a moment or two to get my head back together. Even being in a room with more than one conversation going on at once is stressful.
  • My Emotions run wild. I can be in the best mood of my life, sunshine and rainbows and early 2000s bubblegum pop running through my veins. But as good as my mood is, the slightly thing can knock me off that mountain top. Someone saying something that isn’t even negative, but I hear it that way. Or even just an invasive thought of my own can send me into a mood so blue and mopey, I want to cry. When I was a kid it was labeled behavioral issues, and they were correct. But as an adult it seems more like bipolar disorder, or unreasonable attitude problems.

 

  • I lose EVERYTHING. I mean EVERYTHING. My wallet, my shoes, jewelry, books, anything. Usually I left it somewhere and didn’t even notice, or it’s lost in the hot mess of my living space.

 

  • Tidiness is an elusive state that I am unable to achieve or maintain without being constantly berated for my lack of it. Either through neglect, lack of organization, or thinking that it looks perfectly fine because I can find everything I need, my room to the outside eye looks like someone just threw the contents of a storage unit and a closet into a room and called it a day.

 

  • Impulse control is not natural. It takes years to develop and still, putting it into practice it a struggle. I may not hit people, or go off and say something without thinking as much as I used to as a child, but that’s not because the impulse went away, I’m just holding it in the back of my brain, trying SO SO SO hard not to let it go.
  • The conditions that evolve from dealing with ADD can sometimes get even worse than the ADD itself, in my case; situational depression, and all the bells and whistles that come with anxiety.
    •  Depression stemmed from my inability to connect with my peers and the constant fear of rejection I felt. Also it stemmed from my habits of repressing my negative emotions after a certain age to try and seem normal because I thought that if my emotions weren’t so wild, I would be accepted.
    • Anxiety has been a constant in my life starting with a long list of irrational fears and phobias that plagued me well into the end of middle school. Anxiety also affected my ideas of fitting into social circles stemming from my strong insecurity over my weight and my appearance, as well as the lingering fear that people thought I was a freak and annoying. As I got older the anxiety became less about myself or how I am perceived, and more about the people and world around me. It became less constant and more situational and focused on the long term of my life. (usually based around a domino effect idea that one small event means a plethora of other disasters along the way)
  • Sometimes it is difficult to determine if why I do something is because of my anxiety or ADD. For example; Why does it take me so long to get something done (An Assignment, a registration, a phone call)? Is it because I am scared of what is going to happen when I do it or the after effect? Or is it because even though I know I have to do it, I have the means to do it, and I time to do it, I just can’t bring myself to get it done for some reason.

 

At the end of the day, ADD and ADHD are lifelong conditions.

They aren’t something you try to cure for good, they’re things you have to cope with the same way you would cope with chronic illnesses. You can medicate, or you can take a more holistic approach such as therapy, meditation, and self-help books.

But it’s not something that just goes away. It’s not a broken leg that, if you take care of it, eventually it will heal completely.

It’s more like eczema, sometimes it’s really bad, and sometimes it’s okay. But, you have to find out what makes it easier or harder to deal with until eventually you work out what works for you and you stick to it like you would any other regimen.

I hope this helped give some perspective on the issue. No two cases of ADD are the same, because no two people are the same. But, like it or not, it’s something some of us have to deal with.

And that’s that.